Spoken Word: Grim Reaper [11.14.13]

To be honest, I wanted to start off my blog by posting my previous fun experiences like going to a stussy launch party but I just can’t. My world feels like it’s crumbling down. My grandpa was hospitalized yesterday and I drove back to Orange County to see him …. he looked so weak. He is currently in the ICU for monitoring and I can care less about my internship and work today. But I still have to go. Anyways, I wrote this poem a couple weeks ago when one of the patients I work with at Mattel Children’s Hospital went to PICU (Pediatrics Intensive Care Unit). He needs multiple transplant organs and he might not make it (He is still in the PICU). The poem is to shed light on the darker side of working with children in the hospital and how I felt at the moment thinking about him and other patients.

Although working with children is a blessing
I am having a hard time shadowing the reaper
I can’t stand the fact that I might not see one of the child, here, next week
You see, I have always loved and appreciate life
but this
this shit is too real
this shows me that life is too short
that even if you have never done anything wrong
your body may fail you
that you’re praying to an angel called the waiting list
that you’re counting on the grim reaper
so you can take other
church echoing with the sound of hope
hope that a death of another will give you life
will give you parts that you need to survive
because the one that YOU were born with, failed
failed to allow you to enjoy the simple things like
like sun rays tracing your face on the deck
the smell of spring in march
failed to live up to its promise
a healthy life
but you wait
you wait and wait and struggle through the
dialysis that makes you fatigue
infections that spread like wild fire
needles that poke more holes in your skin than an addict with heroine
cancer that made you think twice about survival and life
beating your heart to death
it makes it difficult to love your body, love yourself, and love life

don’t let those scars wound you even deeper but
do let it tell stories of every stitch and knife you have been under
don’t let the tubes coming out from your body define your worth
don’t let the bare skin of your head define your beauty

I have never been so close to this thin line of life and death
So I continue to shadow the grim reaper.

One thought on “Spoken Word: Grim Reaper [11.14.13]

  1. Pingback: [Video] Pillow Talk Tuesdays | Urban Piece

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