Paul Walker, Nelson Mandela, and my grandpa Nguyen, Nhu Tung. December 7th left a great man. I don’t think people realize how close we were. Again with that word, were.. You were part of my childhood, part of my past, part of my present, and you were supposed to be part of my future. He wasn’t some sort of distant relative where I only visited once or twice a year. I still drive my grandma around when I am back in OC. Yes, I am that grand child. I would do anything for them. They raised me. He was my father figure. No, I don’t give a fuck if he is 94 and he’s old. That doesn’t change the fact that someone important to me left. it has been 3 weeks grandpa and I feel as if you’re slipping away from my memories and dreams. As if you’re no longer real because you’re not physically here. The holidays has been so hard since you’ve left. Nothing feels the same. I miss you so much. I know I haven’t talked about you for awhile or mentioned you but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about you. I feel like you’re one of the reasons I love to be creative and artistic. You are my inspiration. This post is all over the place because that’s how I really feel. I need to find a way to be organized and put together again…
Although I love hip hop and rap, R&B/slowjams are my shit. I was trying to find songs on how I felt and what I was going through .. boy that was hard ): but now I have an official playlist! Enjoy (in no particular order)! Keep in mind that the songs may not exactly be 100% for grief and loss but I have interpreted and relate to it that way.
1. So Lost – Melvin Gutierrez
This was one of the few songs that was in my iTunes (phew), I was really trying to make a playlist of whatever music I had.
2. I Miss You – Aaliyah
“Now you’re gone and I’m lost without you here and now. but I know I gotta live and make it somehow”
3. It’s So Hard to Say Good-bye to Yesterday – Boyz II Men