Finally finished editing and uploading my Vlog from Agenda Long Beach and Obey event! So proud of myself (‘: on how it turned out! I realized I should’ve done an intro about what Agenda is since not everyone knows .. but it’s too late for that. Anyways, I really like recording and editing! So that’s my current form of art (: hehe
Agenda Long Beach
“Agenda is the most diverse and creative lifestyle fashion trade show in the world. Since 2003, Agenda has emerged as the premier destination for brands and retailers to converge. Agenda is where passion becomes profit and the business of creativity is conducted in a truly authentic environment.
Woohoo new video! I recorded this last week but didn’t get a chance to post it so here you go! it’s nice to be able to say what you want to say without censoring yourself!
FREE YOUR MIND & FREE YOURSELF.
Honestly, this is a cool assignment that I actually get to do for school! I already have a lot of videos / writing entries for my assignment so far. I just need to figure out how I am going to post them / video edit them or something .. IONO yet.
I finally went to a location that has the Evening Starbucks Menu! I am so glad I got to share this experience with my cousin! I did record some stuff that will be included in my vlog soon (: ! The next time I come here I definitely want to try some things off their drink menu (white wine, red wine, and beer).
Cake Pop: Chocolate w/ Caramel Drizzle (I Think) She’s really excited that I bought that for her LOL
The thing about this TV show is that I get really emotional when I watch it. Especially references about family, abandonment, rejoice, and more. I feel like I connect somewhat with the characters in the show… Not that I feel switched at birth but thinking that someone who didn’t what you in your life has impacted me subconsciously and crawl out of my bones here and there. I’ve become a strong womyn from my background but I can’t help but feel abandoned… not wanted… empty .. and even lonely sometimes.
I don’t like talking about it much because one, I don’t need charity or pity on what has happened. I wish I had more people to relate to. It’s not something you bring up in a conversation.. ya know.
I get uncomfortable when people ask oh who do you live with. I’m like my brother and mom. Well by myself now but you know know, it gets uncomfortable when people ask me where my dad is oh oh just your mom..
Anyways I just want to blog this to get it off my chest but I’m just going end it here.
I have 2 videos that hit me pretty hard this past month.
June used to be one of my favorite months with the birthday celebrations and summer starting. I know I shouldn’t let one thing effect my whole mood but it does. This doesn’t mean I’m neglecting , down playing , or not acknowledging anything else that happened in June but you know.. shit happens.
Happy Birthday to my family members: Hien (nephew), Nicole (niece), Auntie Christine, and my mom !
Big celebrations? I just graduated !! (well almost .. finishing up in summer). I’ll post pictures of my graduation once my friend edits them!
Debbie Downers? Oh you know .. My grandpa has been gone for 6 months .. it’s been half a year already without him and it’s been rough. I don’t think I can get over this feeling cause it’s seems like I’m just tolerating it / getting used to living without him. We were supposed to celebrate graduation together and his birthday (June 15) which happens to land on Father’s day and my Pilipino Graduation @ UCLA. It’s a lot of mixed emotions in a bottle. Anyways the two songs I’ve been listening to are covers and they capture how I feel about him. It’s Jeni Suk – I Miss You (Frank Ocean/Beyonce) cover and Bea Go – Everytime (Britney Spears) cover. Enjoy.
I realize I haven’t posted anything for awhile .. and I haven’t shared this video ^__^ enjoy..
Most of the time my snapchat “advice” is made during mad traffic in LA and also after visiting my mom or grandma back in OC lol the things they say to me …
Yeah I did. I wanted to drown my sorrows within the past 5 1/2 months. I wanted to use alcohol to numb my pain of undesirable feelings. I wanted to escape with the invisible cloak of henny and coke. I felt so low. I felt so down. I felt like I should have lived beneath the earth. I didn’t feel alive. Everything was a just a blur and motionless for me. Auto-pilot at its finest, I lived because my heart continued to beat and my lungs continued to take in oxygen. I was in a dark place and no one really understood. I lost a loved one and I miss him so much.
I wish you would come back to me, I wish I can talk to you just one more time. All I see your face on our shrines and memories on the back of my mind but it’s not the same. It’s not the same without you. Nothing has been. I don’t know why we’re pretending like everything is okay because it’s not. When I look into grandma’s eyes, I can see her sadness. The melancholy that reeks off of her fake smile and trembled voice. It’s been too long and I’m lost without you, grandpa.
So I’m tired of hearing “you wanted us to drink with you before” or “you used to want to drink a lot.” Next time I hear this, trust that I will blow it out of proportions. This is not a subpost/subtweet. It’s a warning.