Category Archives: Life

Chú Minh

Chú Minh. Chú có biệt trái đất nầy là lạ lắm. Con biệt chú nguyên cuộc đời của con mà một khoảnh khắc chú đi như là gió trong đám mây. Bước vào bệnh viện làm con run tại vì tôi đã phản ảnh ông ngoại. Con cảm thấy hối tiếc ngay khi không cho chú sự tôn trọng mà chú có thể xứng đáng. Con luôn luôn nhìn chú như một chú họ, hay là nhưng giống như chồng của cô của con hay bố anh em họ của con. Mặc dù chúng mình không bao giờ thực sự liên kết, con đánh giá cao chú chăm sóc gia đình và anh em họ của con. Con biết rằng chú có ý nghĩa rất nhiều đối với người khác. Chú có biết anh hai nhớ chú nhiều lắm. Con có thể nghe trong giọng nói của anh hai khi anh gọi con. Anh hai sẽ luôn nhớ rằng chú tin tưởng anh hai khi anh hai cần ai đó tin vào anh hai. Con biết ơn vì điều đó. Con xin lỗi vì con không thể tham dự đám tang của chú. Con cảm thấy tội lỗi ở lại New York và đang ở đây khi tôi nên được bao quanh các thành viên trong gia đình. Con hy vọng chú đang bên cạnh ông ngoai. Tạm biệt Chú Minh.

Why did I move across the country? // Free Association Writing

What is up, blog. I sometimes don’t know people visit my inconsistent blog. Nothing is here but there are still views. LOL. Warning: This is free association writing, aka blurbs, minimum back spaces, unorganized, thoughts and process.

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What happened to us?

I tweeted this yesterday.

I was thinking about the relationship between my brother and I. THINGS CHANGED.
We used to be this bad ass brother and sister. Pavements moving backwards as we stroll the streets to the bus stop.

Holding your hands and looking up at you. I thought you were superman. I thought you can protect me from anything that gets in our way.

Now, I look at you through a different lens. I see your struggle, I see your frustration, I see your lack of sleep, I see that you are overworked.

I don’t have the courage to tell you this in person but I just hope you know that trying to get through things financially.. but that isn’t the only thing that’s important. Don’t lose moments that can make you stronger as a Father, Son, and Brother.

 

PS. I miss using my website as an extension of myself.

WHOLEheartedly.

What hurts more than talking about you is not being able to.

*SILENCE*

Remind yourself Han.

Mourner’s Bill of Rights

1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.

2. You have the right to talk about your grief.

3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.

4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.

5. You have the right to experience “grief bursts.”

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Officially Missing You.

All I hear are rain drops falling on the rooftop. This pain I feel won’t go away. Today, I’m officially missing you.

It’s true. Yesterday I was so irritable and annoyed. I thought it was because of stress from work but that’s not the root of my problem. This is my first year spending thanksgiving without my grandpa. I can remember this day so clearly last year. I was on your bedside just talking about how I was going to graduate and you’re gonna be there. Couple days later, you were gone.

… So now I consume myself with work. Consume myself with plans. Consume myself with Continue reading

MIA.

Hey. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on here. This place brings me back to memories of being sad and happy .. but mainly depressing moments. I created this blog out of a dark time and now it’s hard to visit. I thought I was getting better but I’m just suppressing my feelings about how I really feel.

Like how I stopped thinking about you everyday.
You feel less real everyday.
I can’t remember how your touch feels like.
Your voice is fading away.
Your face is just another picture on my screen.
There’s no dimension.
You’re not alive.
You’re gone.
You’re really gone.

Anyways. Not feeling Halloween anymore.