Hey, it’s been awhile since we’ve talked. I looked through my posts and realized .. we have a lot of unfinished business. There are a lot of drafts with partial feelings. But I promise this time I’ll finish this. As you know by now, I turn to you when I feel way up or way down. Lately, it’s been rough.
This morning was rough. I received a text message from my brother about my cousin. He disclosed to me that he was really sad ever since my cousin died. He sent me a video of his funeral and I broke down. I watched about 20 minutes worth of footage and I couldn’t sit through it. My heart felt like it was sinking to the core of the earth and I was trapped. Trapped in nostalgia and I couldn’t escape. All I think of was you. I miss you so much grandpa. It’s only been a few years but my feelings rushed through this morning. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t control it. I know you wouldn’t like that so I thought, I’ll go outside. Enjoy the nice little weather New York has to offer. Distract myself with some dim sum and call it a day you know? But mom called. Of course she would call right? She knew I would listen. She was sad too. We all are but we’re so far apart. Would it be easier if we’re together? Would it?
Just a mini post because I miss this space. Remember why I created you? I was going through some tough shit 3 years ago. And here we are again.